Regular readers will know that I consume an awful lot of pop via the various music TV channels that are there to help me find a rhythm while working out in the gym. Well today, Smash! Hits TV was doing the inevitable year end round-up and it really brought home just how pathetic Anastacia is and how irritated I’ve been by her April number 3 hit, Left Outside Alone. Everything about it is wrong. ‘All my life I’ve been waiting / for you to bring a fairy tale my way,’ she wails, distraught that no knight in shining armour has appeared by magic to whisk her off her fat lazy arse. ‘You’re living in a fantasy without meaning / It’s not ok I don’t feel safe / I need to pray,’ she continues. Yet if anyone’s living a fantasy it’s this cheeky bint. And it gets worse: ‘Heavenly father please save me / save me / Oh ohhhh,’ she concludes. Surely the moral is that sitting around waiting for somebody else (or god) to sort your life out for you, results in excessive self-pity and a tendency whine neurotically.

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