Another pet hate: Linda Barker and DFS

While I’m on pet hates, as I was, earlier this week the (one-day-to-be-famous) Irish composer, artist, writer, pianist and devisor Ailis Ni Riain stuck a BTW on the end of an e-mail asking who Linda Barker is. Ailis had been over exposed to the lanky blonde ex-TV presenter, currently milking advertising opportunities.

Linda Barker’s prepared for this of course. She’s retired from proper telly to have a family and doesn’t care that right now her appearance in all sorts of advertising for just about anything has elevated her to the top of many people’s Most Irritating Bint lists.

Nevertheless, there is a particularly galling aspect to her fame. Her apparent legitimacy comes from long standing on TV’s Changing Rooms, where she was celebrated for introducing design to British homes. This great designer then put her name to a range of cheaply produced furniture. There she is, on the right, sitting on one her allegedly three-seater sofas. I say allegedly because a sofa with only two cushions cannot be a true three-seater. You need three sets of cushions or one big cushion, but never just two. With just two cushions, the person in the middle ends up on the crack as anybody who has been part of threesome of sofa sitters knows. But it costs as much to make a small cushion as it does to make a large one. The budget won’t stretch so, at best, Linda Barker’s three-seaters are generous two-seaters and her ignorance of practical design is there for all to see.

All those people who followed her TV tips and now have houses blighted by papier-mâché dado rails should sue.
The Falling: a young woman’s descent

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