In a short BBC interview Nadine Dorries MP told us: ‘you don’t know anything about me’. This is a rather strange comment from someone who’s spent much her life giving people reasons to vote for her, but now we know a little too much about Nadine Dorries.
Keen to lighten up her blog, Nadine shared a little anecdote about her knickers. This is the context of a ‘Susan moment’, which is more or less the same as a blonde moment. We’re expected to believe that scatty Ms Dorries emerged from the gym to discover she had somehow managed to drop a pair of knickers in the car park and that said knickers had subsequently attracted considerable attention from passers-by.
Having spent the summers of 1986-1990 working as a car park attendant, I can certainly vouch for the credibility of the first half of this story. I did the odd cleaning shift, which meant meandering around with a litter picker and recovering a great many disposable nappies. Mine was an open airport car park, but we still had the odd used condom and a discarded pair of knickers would be far from unusual. Any town centre or multi-storey car park is certain to attract many drawers of knickers, especially at the weekend. If we’d had the internet back then, I guess we could have packed them up and sold them online, like Sexy Cindy. (I’ve just discovered this industry is self-regulated by the Panty Trust, to whom I’m minded to report Nadine Dorries.)
Nevertheless, the idea that Nadine Dorries’ knickers would have attracted a crowd (especially at 8.45am) is simply not credible.
Rather tragically this post has attracted fifty (moderated) comments, at time of writing, much of which is taken up by Nadine fending off mock marriage proposals and flirting with men desperate to know more about her knickers. The previous two posts are on abortion, which can normally be relied upon to get a hefty response, but they only manage six and twelve comments.
To be fair it’s not just Nadine Dorries MP. Fellow Tory MP Anne Main says: ‘Being blonde, I can’t live without mascara…’
So what motivates female Conservative MPs to make up such nonsense? Is the knickers fetishist community so large in Mid Bedfordshire that she has no choice but to play along? Do male MPs jest about having to hide the Calvin Kleins their mistress bought from the wife?