Write songs like Pink

Pink’s appearance at the Manchester Evening News Arena (world’s most popular music venue) has coincided with the Plain English Campaign’s exposure of the UK’s most irritating clichés. And the campaign’s list reads just like a Pink song sheet. The incredibly well hyped concert has produced some extraordinarily sycophantic media coverage, in which Pink gets to explain that M!ssundaztood contains her deepest, most heartfelt lyric, because it’s effectively therapy. This is really sad because there is very little on Family Portrait, say, that wouldn’t be at home on the Plain English Campaign’s list (It ain’t easy, growin’ up in world war three, etc). So if you’re thinking of writing some lyrics for Pink, simply jumble up the clichés on the campaign’s list and insert some typical teenage outbursts (e.g. Daddy I hate you) and away you go.

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